Kindness

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Today, in the wake of yet another story about the loss of a young man, I was moved to write this. While I realize that I am not “old” I feel a distinct disconnect from the people of the younger generation. I can’t quite put my finger on the when or the how but there has been a systematic decline in humanity, empathy, sympathy and general kindness. I am sure that people who lived and enjoyed the 60s and 70s have probably felt that way about my generation. That we were an angry lot, rowdy music, ripped clothes, but there was always an undercurrent of community and fellowship. We cared about one another and about life, we wanted to live. He had hope! From my general observations most young people today don’t really care. Not about their families, friends or the world as a whole but most sad is that they don’t care about themselves. I don’t know if it’s that the younger generation seems fearless to a fault or careless beyond comprehension. They engage in high risk behaviors, use “designer” drugs that are more potent and potentially fatal than ever and will take a life, their own included, without hesitance. It’s frightening, but more than that it’s sad.

I first noticed this trend when I befriended someone that was 10 years younger than I and I noticed how she interacted with her friends that were her age. Their jokes were cruel and crude. They spoke to one another in a way that I could not imagine speaking to anyone I knew, even people I disliked! Their ideas of cool pranks and jokes seemed dangerous and thoughtless and I was stunned. That was probably the very first time I realized how much older I was and how much of a difference there was. It’s evident even in the way young people date. There is no actual “dating”, only “hooking up”. Young people speak to each other in a manner that is neither affectionate or respectful and when there is a break-up they resort to some of the most vile and outlandish manners to exact revenge.

Maybe some point a finger to technology and media. It’s been said that music, reality television and raunchy cartoons have ruined our youth. I don’t agree with that. I think that there has always been suggestive music or off-color satiric television. But what I think we had that most young people now do not have is parental buffers. Maybe we work too many hours, maybe we are allowing the television to raise our youth, but something is amiss. Where I do blame media is that young people have learned that they can get their 15 minutes of fame by pulling some awful prank or uploading a video/photo or some unfortunate soul, never taking the time to think that those actions could cause a ripple effect and harm another person. Social networking has made us less social and more brazen in passive aggressive guerilla tactics. People have been bullied and verbally eviscerated and rarely have I seen someone tell a person who post vitriol all day that they should handle their personal affairs personally or “offline”. The thing is when one handles their differences in person; the most impactful part of it is that you realize that you are dealing with a PERSON. Another human life is affected by your words and actions. Online it’s all smoke and mirrors so you can say it and forget it. But when required to look into another person’s eyes, what’s seen is a complex network of emotions or thoughts, a beating heart, and a reflection of your own humanity that could temper harsh words or actions.

As an aunt, a friend, a community member and a Reverend, I ask this of parents; take time to unplug your children and give them the gift of compassion. Try at any opportunity to donate time to charity, community service and humanity. I know it seems like a lot to ask, but it will pay in spades. Community service teaches us to love one another and the value of our lives as they exist now. Scale back on things and take time to give experiences and memories. Connect to your children. You had them, so love them, and let them know it’s not shameful to love or care about their fellowman. It’s not a sign of weakness that you can give of yourself, it’s a sign that you have more than enough. Keep your money in your pockets and take some time from working so much, part of providing for your children has little to do with money and much more to do with time. It’s not too late for you and maybe just maybe we wont have to lose another young person because of a lack of humanity.